Choosing the Right Partner: How the Person Beside You Shapes the Life You Build

There’s a quiet truth most of us don’t hear often enough: the person you choose to share your life with will influence everything, your energy, your creativity, your goals, and your reality.

I learned this the hard way.

When the Wrong Relationship Drains You

For years, I tried to build a life with someone who didn’t want to grow. My ex-husband didn’t just stay stuck; he pulled me into the quicksand with him. Any spark of creativity I had felt like it needed permission to exist ,and usually it didn’t happen.

I was constantly trying to push a boulder uphill: encouraging, motivating, hoping that someday he’d want more for himself, for us, the kids, for our future. He had talent and skill, but no drive. Nobody can teach someone how to want it. I tried to build our construction company with his ability. However he fought me every step of the way, he rather go to work everyday for the secure check, than put the effort into building something that would be ours.

Meanwhile I was building my real estate brand and purchasing homes, while being torn down every day about my goals. I remember looking at him after a fight about the first rental I was going to buy. He was telling me that it was a money pit and wasn’t a POS, and I just told him “Sign the paperwork don’t sign the paperwork, I don’t care, I don’t need you”. That was the beginning of the end for us.

Ironically when I was ready for the divorce, and I moved him out of my house, I moved him into that duplex until he got on his feet.

Looking back, I see how much of my energy went into holding together a version of life that was never going to bloom.

Finding Partnership That Breathes Life Into You

Meeting Blair changed everything. From the start, there was a lightness, a sense of being on the same team and being home. It’s like my soul said “oh there you are”.

He has goals. He chases them, with an openness and excitement to learn. And in supporting his growth, I find room to grow too. He cheers me on when I take risks in my business. He celebrates my wins and steadies me through losses. He doesn’t just allow my creativity; he invites it.

With Blair, I don’t feel like I have to dim parts of myself to keep us steady. Instead, we lift each other higher.

Why the Right Partner Matters

Partnership isn’t about perfection. It’s about alignment, encouragement, and shared ambition for the life you want to create together.

The right person doesn’t complete you, they amplify what’s already there. They see the best in you and invite you to step into it. They remind you that it’s safe to dream bigger because you’re not carrying it all alone.

Choosing wisely isn’t selfish or shallow; it’s essential. A supportive partner can be the difference between a life where you’re constantly fighting to stay afloat and one where you can finally swim freely.

Building a Life, Together

Every day with Blair is proof that love can be a springboard, not a cage. We’re far from perfect, there are still bills, deadlines, tired mornings, and moments when we miss each other’s cues. But underneath it all, there’s a shared commitment to grow as individuals and as a couple.

That shared heartbeat gives me space to create, to try, to fail, and to try again. It’s what makes “us” feel like more than just a marriage, it’s a partnership in building a beautiful, meaningful life.

If you’re in a season of wondering whether love should feel this hard, hear me: you deserve a teammate. Someone who breathes life into your dreams, not someone who drains them away.

Your future is too important to waste energy with someone who isn’t willing to build alongside you. Truly your partner will be the biggest asset in your career, goals, and dreams.